Sunday, May 25, 2008

I Hate Severe Weather

When I was a child I saw an episode of a show called “Magee and Me” in which a tornado tears through a town when a child’s parents aren’t home. The episode climaxes when a tree branch breaks through the window of the child’s house.

How terrifying is that?

Honestly, every time I knew that scene was coming I would hide behind my couch and clamp my hands over my ears so I wouldn’t even hear it. Yes, I watched the episode more than once. Why? I have no idea, I wasn’t exactly a brainiac as a child. Ever since that time I have not been comfortable during storms.

Okay, truth be told I get really, really scared.

This fear of harsh weather was particularly poignant in the spring because of the storms that blew through the area. I have a wife now, so I try not to be as scared around her. However, she has a job that requires her to travel and she has been out of town during the past two storms.

No wife, no having to act tough. Scardey-cat mode activated.

During one storm, I was pacing my apartment chanting, “You are fine. It is just a storm. It can’t hurt you.”

Then the power went out. Somewhere, God was laughing.

My chant then changed to, “All right, I am going to freak right out.”

My phone rang and I saw that my friend was calling. I thought, “That’s nice. He saw that there was a storm and he knows I don’t like (AKA am terrified of) harsh weather and wants to see if I’m okay.”

I picked up the phone only to hear laughter and my friend say, “Dude, there is a huge storm where you are. I hope a tree branch doesn’t break through your window.”

I hung up on him.

Word to the wise: never tell your friends what makes you scared. I probably deserve it though because I know he has a crippling fear of snakes and I always pretend to see them when I am around him and he freaks out. I now know what it is like on the other side and I am a changed man (not really, I owe him a rubber snake in his truck).

My wife called me amidst the storm and tried to tell me about her day at work. I was obviously not listening because I was in a major crisis. There was a storm outside and it was trying to get in and get me. My wonderful bride did not yell at me and tell me to quit being a pansy. She comforted me and told me to quit being a pansy. I love her.

In the end, I was able to weather the storm and come out okay. I was even able to fall asleep at 2 a.m. when my adrenaline stopped pumping and had a very good night’s sleep.

2 comments:

Russ said...

its outrageous that a person would exploit your fears like that. as friends we are called to build up our fellow man not break him down at their lowest times. i am appalled and it sickens me someone would put you through that. by the way i think there is a tornado behind you.... HA just kidding did you piss your pants you little girl.

Valerie said...

Dude, I totally remember that McGee and Me episode! Why on earth would those idiotic parents leave all their kids at home when a deadly storm was raging outside?? Dumb.

I always think of that episode when there's a big storm.