Saturday, July 26, 2008

Mr. Clean ain't got nothing on me!

I have achieved the impossible. I spent a whole day cleaning...with Sarah. That's right, I got my wife to help me clean. If you don't know Sarah, she HATES to clean. Hates to the point where she would probably rather eat her young than clean up after them.
Well, I finally got her to clean because it was just absolutely necessary. Our apartment was a pig sty. We actually had a pig come ring the doorbell and ask if he could rent the extra room because he said it was "so beautiful" and "reminded him of home."
I know what you're thinking, "Luke, that story is really unrealistic. Apartments don't have doorbells."
Well, it may be unrealistic, but our apartment was really, really messy. We spent all day cleaning and I can honestly say I have never felt better about how I spent a Saturday. We still have work to do, but our apartment is 10 times cleaner than it has ever been. I didn't even know we had carpet in our bedroom until today!
After we were finished cleaning, we decided to treat ourselves to a little gourmet dining. That's right ladies and germs, we went to Chili's-To-Go. When I was there, I realized I was a little short on cash and wasn't able to tip very well. It wasn't a horrible tip, but it wasn't that good either. However, I figured since it was the To-Go section, they didn't deserve that much of a tip. I mean, if the girl came to my house to refill my drink she would deserve one heck of a tip, but as it stands all she does is stand there and hand me what the kitchen staff prepared.
When I handed over my tip and said, "I'm sorry. I know it isn't much of a tip, but I thought I had more money on me." And I could tell she was thinking, "That's okay. Enjoy the spit in your food."
I then actually became terrified that my food had spit in it, but then realized that I am fat and hungry and would probably eat it anyways.
And I did. And it was delicious.
Moral of the story: don't live with regrets. If life gives you lemons, eat them quickly.

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